Dear Tai
by Obsidian4
Summary: Yamato's last words to Tai... It's a one-shot. Yaoi warning Suicide warning [revised]


**Dear Tai**

Disclaimer: Don't own them... 

A/N It's sad... Don't read if you don't think you can stomach it...

_Dear Tai, _

_You'll probably never read this. But just in case, I'm writing this to let you know what you've done. Just to make sure you're guilty all your life. Just to make sure you remember me, even if it means you hate me. _

_I hope you bring this down to hell with you. I know I'll see you there. Can't pretend I'm going to meet you at the Pearly Gates, we've both sinned more than we can count. I hope you suffer when you see my body, hope you squirm and run away. Because I'll be haunting you, Yagami Taichi, you can count on it. _

_You've hurt me Tai, more than I can write on this stupid piece of paper. And I just want to shove this in your laughing face cause you don't give a damn anyway. You hear me? You. Don't. Give. A. Damn. _

_And that's why it hurts. Because you don't care. Because you don't give a damn about me. _

_All I needed was some time, but you couldn't even wait for me. You said you loved me and then you went off to flaunt your new girlfriend. And of all people Tai, it was Sora._

_You broke my heart Tai, and I don't care how clichéd it sounds, because it's true. _

_It's kind of funny even, but I'm not laughing. I look in the mirror and I see this sick pale monster staring back at me. What do you see?_

_I feel like a freak. Every single thing I could've done wrong, I did. My whole life's one huge mistake._

_I think there's only one thing that I don't regret doing, and that was becoming friends with you. _

_You probably think there's something seriously wrong with me. After all, I'm supposed to hate you right?_

_But it's only because you pushed me away that I'm mad with you. I still love you._

_Probably always will._

_Yamato_

Yamato carefully sealed the envelope, his fingers shook slightly as he wrote Tai's name. There. Done. There was no turning back now.

He moved hesitantly towards the phone, gripping it tightly against his ear as he dialed Tai's number. 

"Hello? Yagami Residence."

"Taichi?" he asked cautiously.

"...Ishida? What do you want?" Yamato could hear Tai's suspicion over the line.

"Do you think you can come over? I've got something to show you." Clear, polite and precise. Tai couldn't refuse.

Silence. Then- "Right now?"

"Yes. Right now."

"This had better be good Ishida," Tai growled. Yamato's reply was cut off as the receiver was placed down.

It'll be good Tai. You'll never see me again. Isn't that what you always wanted?

~~~~~

Tai could act nonchalant all he wanted, but he couldn't stop the sense of urgency that had flooded through him ever since he received Yamato's call. Maybe it was the way Yamato spoke, his voice flat and hollow, or maybe it was the fact that Yamato had called him Taichi, not Tai. He had never done that before.

He tapped the driver on the shoulder.

"Do you think you can go any faster? I'm going to be late."

The driver mumbled something incoherent, but Tai couldn't be bothered to reply. 

I'm going to be too late. But too late for what?

~~~~~

Yamato couldn't pretend that he wasn't scared as he picked up the pocket knife, flipping it open, its blade sharp and cold. But the second he felt it solidly in his fingers, the fear evaporated.

Beautiful.

He turned the blade over, and it seemed to shine. He quickly rolled up his sleeves and in one swift movement, brought the knife to the translucent skin below his wrist, pressing down hard. He faltered slightly as it slid easily through his flesh, but then tightened his hold and pressed down harder.

Waves of crimson flowed from the cut; it was deep and had hit home. Blood spurted from the open vein and he watched himself in morbid fascination as he bled his life away. His eyes narrowed. The flow was thinning.

He brought the blade down once more, the first bout of dizziness hitting him. He dropped the knife as the pain intensified and watched as the blood, his own blood, dripped like rain. 

There was another flash of pain and he flinched, falling onto his knees. But it was okay, because it didn't hurt as much as it hurt inside. Nothing could ever hurt him like that again, the gaping hole that seemed to forever draw him in. 

Scarlet rivers turned to fast streams and he gasped for air as his vision suddenly blurred. He closed his eyes as his world dimmed and he fell to the floor. 

Tai...

Yamato opened his eyes a fraction as he felt warm arms wrap around him. He looked up. Was it an angel? Had he finally died? Was it over?

"Yama..." 

It was Tai. Tears welled up in Yamato's eyes. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He opened his mouth to speak but found he couldn't muster the strength to utter anything. 

"Why Yama?" His voice was choked. Was he angry?

Why? Yamato felt like laughing. After all this, Tai still didn't understand. 

He slipped his uninjured hand into his pocket and drew out the envelope, forcing it into Tai's hands. 

He smiled and closed his eyes.

"Yama! YAMA!" 

Yamato's head dropped softly onto his chest. 

Gone. 

Tai sobbed, the tears finally falling. It couldn't be like this. Yama couldn't-he wouldn't... 

Tai looked at the envelope in his hand. Yamato's last words. 

He tore it open and scanned the page for something- anything- His eyes stopped at the second last sentence. I still love you.

Tai smiled and picked up the blood stained knife... 

~~~~~

They were found dead, in each other's arms, the next morning.

A/N  Review please?


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